“Over the years, like most women, there have been many times I’ve battled with a temptation toward insecurity. But here is what I’ve learned: Insecurity is simply an unhealthy focus on yourself, rather than a healthy focus on Jesus Christ.

It’s something the enemy can easily use to keep us turned inward rather than outward. Just like the temptation toward any sin, we must nip thoughts of insecurity in the bud the moment they begin to arise. As soon as the enemy comes in with whispers of, “Everyone is noticing your physical shortcomings. There is nothing attractive about you – no one wants to be around you,” our response must be immediate. Instead of entertaining those thoughts and meditating upon them, fight back with truth, Scripture and prayer.

We must remind the enemy (and ourselves) that we have been created in the image of God, that our life has been redeemed by the blood of Christ, and that we are precious in His sight.” -Leslie Ludy

What a beautiful Saviour
softly, softly now

What a glorious Father
gently, gently now

What a tender Shepherd
lovely, lovely now

Second chances
and a third
and a fourth
and a fifth
and so many more

Unending grace
Has called, is calling, will call

His Love catches me whenever I fall
Softly, softly
Gently, gently
Lovely, lovely

I love You

Mirrored

She sits and she watches. Bus number 77, route 9, Saturday 8:30 a.m. - Sitting. Watching. Her eyes rest on the people she has come to know by sight and by nature from the past few days, weeks, months. They do not see her looking but she looks at them seeing - 


Seeing what, exactly? The sweet, glazed stare of that old lady who sits and crochets a pink fluff of yarn, soon to become yet another scarf, another one too many for another niece. But she sees the pain flash by in those sweet, glazed eyes whenever a child passes her by. And she knows that the socks, the scarves, the mittens knitted, will never be used because those sweet, glazed eyes are alone and left in the world, aching for something that has passed her by. She sees the cold and hardy stare of that successful businessman who owns a company in the city, is never late for work, has a beautiful wife and even more beautiful children - yet she also sees beyond the lies and deceit of a perfect life when she overhears his conversations on the phone and knows that his beautiful wife does not have a beautiful life. She wonders if his wife knows about his beautiful secretary with her beautiful words, and she knows that he is wondering the exact same thing too. The pain of his realisation and knowing that what he is doing can only come to ruin, but he buries the pain with selfish arrogance and ignorance. She sees the casual indifference of the student who appears to not care that his life is falling apart and that the white substance he clings on to every day that seems to be the only thin threads holding him together - But she also sees his fear that another day might not come and the pain that grips him everywhere he goes because everywhere only serves to remind him that he's not all he thought he was. All the hurting from being rejected and thrown away and never being valued has settled deep into his heart and made it it's home.


Pain is home, and the hurting seems so familiar. And she sits. And she watches. And it helps her to know that she isn't the only one going through this.

I might be mad and I might be hurt but I refuse to ignore you. I will not turn away and flip my hair and stare impudently at you with lips cold as ice and face as hard as stone - No, you won't even know I'm hurt and mad and sore. All you need to do is mold another brick, brick by brick, onto those walls I tried so hard to break down. All you need to do is continue on in your laughter at my jokes and never see that this heart has learnt its lesson and cut all those ties with the people that never really cared anyway. All you need to do is be yourself.



Its not your fault, its mine. I'll take the blame for everything and I'll accept all that you have to say. It was always my fault anyway, wasn't it? If I hadn't. If I didn't. If I had done. If I.



So I'll take my hurts and count them one by one. I'll write them out because words help me to understand and words written can be erased, but words spoken are permanent. I'll write out all your words spoken and I'll erase them, maybe they'll be erased from my mind as well, but somehow I don't think so. I'll read the words I write, erase, and write some more. The grip of the pencil brings a sense of familiarity, the wood so reassuringly sturdy - but then again, a pencil is so easily broken by a fall. So what else is there to be said of the strongest of all structures when even a reliable pencil sculpted from the pulp of a majestic tree can be broken in a split second? But I still write because I'm so full of



wistful thoughts and the

twisting of words and the

blowing of the wind and



I will still continue to br



ea



the

His hope, the anchor for our soul

Ever had those moments when the people whom you thought would always be there for you, turned out to be among the first to leave? Those moments when you had a glimmer of hope in something only to have it dashed. And it brings to mind the breaking of waves on the shore. The life a wild flower - here in this instance, gone the next. But what can I say? Aren't we all alike? So unwittingly human in our perspectives and selfish desires. So unaware. So ignorant.

"Child, as long as you keep allowing yourself to be broken by the things of this world, you will continue to be broken. And as long as you keep looking to the world, you will keep, and keep, and keep on, being hurt. Child - look to Me. Allow Me to be your love. See, I am holding out My arms - Let Me."

I've been broken by the things of the world - Unaware that He was broken for me! Now I'm learning one thing.. Hoping in the things offered by the world will only leave me hurting and disappointed at the things that could have been, but didn't, and never will.

There's a Love that never fails, waiting with open arms. And yet sometimes we unwittingly turn away from the only Love that could ever satisfy, just to look for cheap thrills. And cheap thrills is exactly what it is when it isn't saturated with Him.

Psalms 101:2 "I will ponder the way that is blameless. Oh when will You come to me? I will walk with integrity of heart within my house"

"The truest measure of a person's spiritual health is taken in the home. We can be a spiritual superstar at our work, in our community, at school, and even in our church... But it's who we are at home that tells the real story of who we are.

Home is where we tend to close the door and surround ourselves with people we aren't compelled to impress. Home is where we feel we can let our guard down and take all the filters off. Home is the place where the real us finally emerges, shedding the skin of who we portray ourselves to be... And quite often, there's a dramatic difference between the two.

The Psalmist wrote that he would walk in his house with a perfect (or upright) heart. Can we say the same thing? Is our commitment to the things of God the same at home as it is elsewhere? Do our personal lives reflect the same devotion and obedience as our public lives? Does grace continue to be the overriding principle in what we do and say to others once we've shut the front door? Are we honoring our spouse, children, and parents in the way the Lord calls us to?

If not, why not make it so? Why don't we determine to burn brightest in our passion for Jesus at home? Whether we're single, married, with or without children... Why not invest our best in the place that reveals and defines us most clearly? For when we're right with God at home, we'll be right outside of it.

Lord, bring a spiritual revival to our homes. Make us into men and women who honor You there first and foremost. Build families that are solid and burn bright for You, and don't let us ever forget that it's who we are at home that's who we really are.

The truest measure of a person's spiritual health is taken in the home. We can be a spiritual superstar at our work, in our community, at school, and even in our church... But it's who we are at home that tells the real story of who we are."

I read this note one day while I was reading through the Bible notes written by other people on the YouVersion application and it struck something in my heart - this is so true. When we are at home, we are surrounded by the people that we've grown up with, that has known our character since young, and we don't have the need to impress our family members. Home is where we throw off all that we try to portray to the world and become our true self! So how exactly do we act at home?

Here are some questions I asked myself.
1. Am I obedient to my parents just as the Word commands, or am I rude, disobedient, careless, disrespectful towards them?
2. Am I loving, caring and willing to do all things in love for my family members - Or only just to those outside my family?
3. Are my words at home reflective of my words outside the home, when I am in church or with church members?
4. Am I patient, respectful, willing to offer even my 'other cheek' when I am being 'slapped' by my family members - Or does that rule only apply to those outside my family?

All actions start from the heart - and remember the saying, "Home is where the heart is"? ;) have a blessed week!

Through it all, I know My Jesus is able to work through things that are falling apart His Light shines through most when we are at the very least of ourselves That's when we rely on God to be His very most.

Why do we always worry about things, no matter whether it's big or small? Something wrong happens and it gets out attention and we can't seem to stop worrying about it. We can't stop thinking about it. We can't see the big picture that even if we make a mistake - that mistake is not going to cancel out God's plan for our lives, instead it is used for His purpose. Mistakes we make are not as influential towards our future as we think, you know? Things might happen in the world, but it is God's purpose that prevails (Proverbs 16:33, "The dice are thrown, but the Lord determines every outcome."), everytime.

Let's say, for example, I failed a major exam due to my own faults (procrastination, laziness). Because I failed that major exam, it probably could have a bad impact on my future (Eg. Colleges/universities might not want to accept me because of that failing mark)... ... BUT. God is greater than our mistakes. The future God has for us is not dependent on our success or failures. Even when we fail, God's purposes for our lives are not damaged in any way and our future is not daunted.

He says that all our days were already ordained by Him, written in His book, before one of them even came to be! (Psalms 139:16). So we need to wake up each day with the certainty and knowledge that, yes indeed, today and everything I am going to do today has already been planned by the Father and written in His book and ordained by Him, all in conformity with His plan to bring glory to His name!

He says, Child, I do not give to you as the world gives. (John 14:27) Be strengthened in heart, He has overcome the world! God has overcome the world and everything in it, He is so much greater than the principalities that govern the world. The world constantly gives us pressure, stress, frustrations, temptations, worries, uncertainties, even more pressure - but He says that he does not give to us as the world does. He gives us heavenly food, manna from heaven that is able to satisfy our souls. He tells us to cast all our burdens and frustrations on Him, because He cares for us. He cancels out our fear with His perfect love and grants us hope with things seem dark. God is the opposite of what the world is - and we cannot serve the world and God at the same time. God is the complete and total contrast of what the World is; whatever the world seems to throw at you, God gives the opposite.

What other God would tell you to offer your right cheek if you were slapped on the left? To love and pray for your enemies instead of hate, to carry a load for someone for an extra mile, or even two, without being asked? To give not only what you were being sued for, but more? The World constantly asks us to take, take, take - but the Word tells us to give, give, give. We receive good things from God, and in turn, we give out what we have abundantly received to others.

Walking steadfastly after God might seem hard at times, but it is all always worth it. The road may be narrow at times, but it is always straight with God. He is the Word, and the Word is a light unto our feet and a lamp unto our path - He shines forth from the darkness and makes straight the path for us. He is our God, He is our Father.. I am so grateful.

1 - 8 . 10 . 2011

I'm the one with the fry in my mouth. Sometimes when I'm talking with friends, I wonder where we will all be in 5 years and if we will all still be the same. It's exciting when I know that God has it all mapped out for us, He's got all the roads we will ever walk on planned out. I was meditating on Ephesians last night and this morning and my mind was blown away by what His word says - "In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will, in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of His glory." He will work everything out not only just for our good, but also for the good of those around us. And what He works out in our lives will be on par with His plans that in the end, His name is glorified.

This is my table in my room, where I study and spend my quiet time. Can you spot the panda keychain Gloria got me from China, the pretty flower-nuts Evan gave me from his backyard and the cow sticker I took from my brother? One of my favourite things to do is sit at my table with a warm drink and spend some time with my Father. Also, I like my highlighters. They are so colourful, like the rainbow.

Hmm, here is my exam schedule and a few hundred more things I'm supposed to finish up by this month. I am not daunted, Jesus' got this for me. He's got this. "Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence." {Jeremiah 17:7} I'm blessed in my studies because of His grace. I know, I know, I know, I know, with every single thought in my mind that my brain is able to churn out, that the fruits of my studies are the result of His grace and everlasting loving-kindness. He multiplies my effort, because it is the very nature of God to bless.

"God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace He has poured out on us, who belong to his dear Son." {Ephesians 1:5-6} Don't ever declare with your mouth that you are not blessed - You are. Infinitely blessed.

In my brother's sweater that I think isn't even his.. But I'd rather not think of where it came from. Here is a beautiful reminder of how intimately your Father knows you - "And the very hairs on your head are all numbered." {Matthew 10:30}

“A woman is not born a woman. Nor does she become one when she marries a man, bears a child and does their dirty linen, not even when she joins a women’s liberation movement. A woman becomes a woman when she becomes what God wants her to be.”

//Learning to be a Woman", Kenneth G. and Floy Smith

 I've been told many times, "Wait, you're not a woman... You're a girl still." I agree that I'm still a girl, but what really defines that line where a girl steps over into womanhood? Is a girl a woman after the age of 18, 19, 20? Is a girl a woman after her body has developed fully in it's curves and beauty? Is a girl a woman when she gets a boyfriend, fiancé, marries?

Thinking about these things.. I think turning into a woman is a process. Where she continually gives God all she has everyday, clinging on to that Beautiful Hope no matter what comes her way - Reminding, reminding, reminding herself that the Lord is her Rock and strong tower to which she runs to. A process where God is the center, where God is the light, where He is the foundation, and He is in control of molding & shaping her life. It's a life beautifully surrendered to the ways of God; a woman becomes a woman when she becomes what God wants her to be. 

Though in the physical sense, a woman is a woman when she's transitioned through childhood and adolescence, God's word clearly shows us that our spiritual state does not age as our physical state does. If Paul even addressed the Corinthian church as 'spiritual babies' then our spiritual self could pretty well be babies too despite our age!

God doesn't define beauty, love, manliness, femininity, and godliness according to the world's definition. And He sure doesn't define "womanhood" or "manhood" according to what the world thinks it is, either.

Seeking God's plan for our lives and allowing Him to shape us will turn us into men and women who live for God and do things that glorify His name - yet, are we still spiritual babies?

////

One annoyingly bright and cheery morning, on the way to school, a chipper and fresh-faced girl was looking out the car's window admiring the birds of the sky....... ......OK yeah who am I kidding. I was grumpy from lack of sleep and totally looking at my reflection in the window. Wondering again how some people manage to look amazing in school (and then there's people like me). I bent my head for a second to adjust a stray piece of hair then flipped my head back to look at my reflection again (don't judge me!) but I didn't see myself. Instead, God decided to smack me in the face with a glimpse of His handiwork - beautiful shining rays of orange and yellow breaking through the blue, blue skies. Smack dab in my face. I had turned expecting to find my face but ended up with a face-full of God and His amazing gift of grace to us each and every day.

It was like a reminder from God.
About His faithfulness and gorgeous creativity.
He's there every morning making the sun come out,
painting the skies a different hue each day,
His creativity is seen in every face and being.


Child,
look beyond yourself
and to Me.

His Love for Me

"Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God."  (II Corinthians 3:5)

"..for in Him we live and move and exist ..." (Acts 17:28)

Jesus Christ is in my life . . . 
there is no other.
The thought of  spending a single day
outside His love
His gentleness
His tenderness
His understanding
His power
is not only frightening
it causes me to despair
to become weak with hopelessness.

How could I ever meet "today"
if I had to do it alone?
For not only do I draw from His strength
but I grasp for His
faithfulness to me
His complete acceptance of me
the peace that I find only in His presence.
For, you see, I've come to accept myself because of Him.
I find that I do those things
which are kind and good loving others
while I bask in His love for me!

All I am or ever hope to be
lies in Him.
Without Him -- I am nothing.
With Him -- I am everything.
And when I am not "everything"

 He loves me still.


Lifetime daily devotions day 13

Dear Lord,

AAAAAAAHH! HELP! Oh please, oh please, oh please. I know I said that if you helped me get though that last test, that I’d never ask you for anything ever again. But here I am. In fact, I’m starting to re-think this whole bargaining system. I can’t seem to hold up my end. I keep needing you to bail me out. Let’s face it, I totally depend on you.

I’m starting to think that’s how you like it.

Anyway, I could have studied harder. I know that’s always true, but, ya know. I could have paid more attention, I could have taken more notes, I could have thought less about all the hotties in my school. Dang. I dunno. I just need you. Not just for this test, but for everything.

Please help me to relax, to focus, and to remember stuff. If you could stop me from beating up on myself, I think that might help a lot. Sometimes the pressure just feels like it’s going to overwhelm me. I know that you have my back and that you prepare a path before me, but things can really get to me sometimes. Deep down I know that if I’ve got you, I can handle whatever comes my way, so let’s do this!

Amen

/////