Mirrored

She sits and she watches. Bus number 77, route 9, Saturday 8:30 a.m. - Sitting. Watching. Her eyes rest on the people she has come to know by sight and by nature from the past few days, weeks, months. They do not see her looking but she looks at them seeing - 


Seeing what, exactly? The sweet, glazed stare of that old lady who sits and crochets a pink fluff of yarn, soon to become yet another scarf, another one too many for another niece. But she sees the pain flash by in those sweet, glazed eyes whenever a child passes her by. And she knows that the socks, the scarves, the mittens knitted, will never be used because those sweet, glazed eyes are alone and left in the world, aching for something that has passed her by. She sees the cold and hardy stare of that successful businessman who owns a company in the city, is never late for work, has a beautiful wife and even more beautiful children - yet she also sees beyond the lies and deceit of a perfect life when she overhears his conversations on the phone and knows that his beautiful wife does not have a beautiful life. She wonders if his wife knows about his beautiful secretary with her beautiful words, and she knows that he is wondering the exact same thing too. The pain of his realisation and knowing that what he is doing can only come to ruin, but he buries the pain with selfish arrogance and ignorance. She sees the casual indifference of the student who appears to not care that his life is falling apart and that the white substance he clings on to every day that seems to be the only thin threads holding him together - But she also sees his fear that another day might not come and the pain that grips him everywhere he goes because everywhere only serves to remind him that he's not all he thought he was. All the hurting from being rejected and thrown away and never being valued has settled deep into his heart and made it it's home.


Pain is home, and the hurting seems so familiar. And she sits. And she watches. And it helps her to know that she isn't the only one going through this.