May & June have passed by so fast I can hardly keep track of what's been going on. School has been busy, stressful, frustrating - and a constant reminder that nothing is constant except He who is and always will be.
Life has been, well, life. With its ups and downs, and if you're like me, mostly downs. It gets pretty easy to fall into self pity and all that sadness and negative feelings until you forget the good things. Or maybe something really good happens and you're pretty happy for a while till the next bad situation knocks you off your feet again.
It's a cycle I've been going through. Until one night, God lit the bulb in my mind again and made me realise that, no, I can't live my life based on my emotions. I can't judge the quality of my day based on how many good feelings I got that day, or the worth of my life on the number of better experiences outweighing the bad. I can't say, "Oh, today was a good day," because I passed my test, or "Man, today was a horrible day," because I didn't. I shouldn't.
Because my life is not dependent on my emotions. My life is not the sum of my feelings. My life is not a reflection of good experiences vs. bad experiences.
My life is dependent on Christ who is Constant. My life is the sum of His overwhelming Grace and Mercy. My life is a reflection of His Spirit shining brighter than the darkness.
If I live day-to-day with only my emotions as my guideline on how 'good' or 'bad' my day was, I am going to end that day feeling defeated, depressed, down-hearted, and unworthy. I am going to feel like who I am is not good enough and that my best will always be less. This is because emotions are fickle things. You'll go from one end to another end to another end, it's a rollercoaster that leaves you feeling sick. You can't depend on it. You can't rely on it to lead you. You most certainly can't live your life by it.
If I live day-to-day with the knowledge and knowing deep down inside, and truly, truly, truly, holding fast to the Truth that God is absolutely constant in my life - The day has already been won and claimed for Christ. The day is already filled with security and peace and a steadfast anchor of hope. He is the one true constant and there is no other that can grant you the security & peace like He can when you know that He is the lifeline you are holding on to, and He unto you.
It's beautiful. It's heart-warming. It's what wraps like a warm blanket around you letting you know that you are loved, and safe, and secure, and in the palm of His hands. It's Jesus.
