BEFORE YOU SAY “FML,” REMEMBER THAT THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO HAVE IT WORSE THAN YOU DO.

Jesus never said “FML” on the cross, why should WE when He had it so much worse than us?

So "FML" is something I've seen quite a bit on the Internet lately. "My hair just won't sit flat, FML!" "My dishwasher just exploded, FML!" and maybe even "My other half expects me to entertain his inlaws while he's away for 2 weeks, FML!!"

I don't like this phrase at all. It's very strong. You can't change it to "Screw my life" if you didn't want to use the swear word, because that's the whole point of it in the first place. It's a venomous, spitting expletive. I don't think most people mean it either.

There are a lot of people in the world who could really use this phrase. There always are. Right now a lot of those people are in Haiti. But at any one point in time there are mother's who've lost a child to a terrible disease, or families torn apart by debt or drugs, or whole communities living in poverty who have nothing.

They could say "FML".

And yet, they probably wouldn't.


Yesterday my mom nagged at me, I woke up feeling horrible, spent 4 hours doing homework in the afternoon, missed out on my nap, had a stuffed nose the whole day and couldn't breathe the entire night properly either, got annoyed in school, a whole bunch of other stuff.. And yet I'm still reminded every single day that Jesus died on the cross for me, entirely, and God will never let me go. That He is a jealous God, for me and I could never live up to His standards, but yet I am forgiven by his grace and unfailing love.

So I am NEVER going to say "F**k my Life." That phrase just doesn't do justice to the wonderful life that I have been given- life in the Eternal.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”

The world says again and again to follow your heart. Every song is flooded with cliches about “falling in love” and listening to your heart.

And up until recently, it sounded right to me too. Follow your heart! Enjoy the good feelings! Go with the flow. Don’t listen to advice. You’re happy, right? My head made constant arguments all for “losing myself” in the moment, in the feelings, in the glamor of “falling in love”.

But the Bible says the exact opposite. Our emotions are liars. Our hearts are “deceitful” and “desperately wicked” and it’s time we start listening to God and using discernment instead of allowing our feelings and lusts of the heart to drive us.

God is the only real thing. Our feelings are so good at creating alternate realities for us to escape in. And our hearts are good at convincing us that they make sense. We lose God’s whisper of truth inside of all the beautiful possibilities we invent for ourselves. And since god gives us what we want, since that is what love does, since He refuses us nothing…those lies become our reality.

We deform ourselves within them, reversing the work that God is trying to do, that of conforming us to the image of His son- the image of pure love, true, selfless, jealous love…love that waits patiently for us even as we run in the opposite direction, towards our feelings.

Satan is not an idiot. He is clever and he knows the way we work. He knows that we are desperate for love. Lust is not just about sex. Lust is about distracting us from God. Lust is about deceit, lies, and using another person for our own desires.

We are meant to be fulfilled in God, and only once He is enough for us, will we be enough for someone else.

/ heisjealousforme

The Potter's hands won't let me go,
They'll keep shaping me, until I'm perfect,
They'll keep changing me, healing me,
I am His.

So here I am the clay in Your hands,
Knowing You won't leave me here,
Trusting You know what You're doing,
Willing to be broken again,
Just feeling Your loving touch,
Knowing You will heal me again.

Designed by Your hand.
Touched by Your love,
Still crying out for more.

Lord here I am, humbled and broken again,
But I am clay in Your hands,
Knowing you'll restore me again.

Lord here I am, surrendering my pain again,
Molded by Your hands.
Knowing you'll restore me again.

"This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD : "Go down to the potter's house, and there I will give you my message." So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.

Then the word of the LORD came to me: "O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?" declares the LORD. "Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel."

/ Jeremiah 18 : 1 - 6

when the sun shines, i'm reminded of Your grace shining down. when it pours, i'm reminded of Your love raining down on us. :)

Today! saturday morning, went to church for pastor yang's sermon. revival.. are we prepared for it? lunch with youth at grandma's bak kut teh place P: then my family and i went to the christian bookstore at saberkas to get a bible for me since daniel took my bible.. and then my sister took my other bible... haha i couldn't choose between the colourful green and pink bible, or just a simple black one! then i thought, 5 years from now, can you imagine yourself with that green and pink ladybug bible? nooo i don't think so. so i got the normal black one. hahaha

what a day today was.. school in the morning and after school, iscf club meeting. im not in the iscf club actually, but i just joined their alpha course. it seems fun. get me reminded about the basics and foundations of christianity. it's easy to forget who God really is sometimes, in the midst of everything.

in the evening my mom ordered pizza for dinner cause she didn't feel like cooking, then she went out to pick my sister from school so i was alone at home. the pizza guy came when i was halfway doing my business in the toilet... -___- i tell you, i did my business in like 20 seconds, NO JOKE. the stupid pizza guy was so impatient and honking away, helloooo can you please understand that maybe your customer might be busy, like doing business in the toilet.. anyway i went out to get the pizza, and i was trying to get the right amount of money for him, when i looked up and i saw him staring at my chest. when i handed him the money, his head snapped up and acted like he didn't do anything. gosh i don't know what, i feel so visually raped :/ seriously now? .......... what is this ........ lol i forgive him. he doesn't know any better. it doesn't make what he did right though.

church at night. pastor yang from cornerstone church is in town! what a powerful speaker. he spoke some really great things tonight, that i've been keeping in my mind and having questions about. :)

it was my birthday yesterday! :)) officially 15. i woke up without remembering it was my birthday until my mom woke up and wished me happy birthday. she was like happy birthday, daughter! and i was all huh, who's birthday? oh OH ITS MY BIRTHDAY! haha, how sad..

raymond, wendy, raina, othniel, joshua, cynthia, chandrika, denedy, tiong, thanks for all the gifts :)) and the heaps of birthday wishes from everyone! i skipped extra class on that day as a birthday gift to myself. hahaha. then i went home and basically wasted the entire afternoon, and slept for 2 hours. at night, i went out for dinner with my family and got my cake. cheesecake! :D dawww. i was supposed to bring some cheesecake to school to share but i forgot to pack it in my bag..

tuition tonight. hmmmm. no one to message. i guess tonight i'll actually have to pay attention.

update: my facebook page is littered with so many people cursing and swearing that they got chosen for NS. whats so bad about NS? and is there really a need to swear and curse like that? its horrible. what happened to giving thanks in all things, whether its good or bad? isn't spending like 3 months in NS getting to know new people and making memories better than rotting away at home and complaining complaining complaining of boredom?

it was wrong of me to assume that i did not have anything major in my life that was a stumbling block in my walk with Him. He is bringing me to my knees, showing me things that i have never thought about or considered as stumbling blocks, causing me to reevaluate my life and put into consideration many things. He is opening my eyes, and breaking my heart, so that He can heal me, and rebuild me, and transform me into something greater for His use. He's causing circumstances and events to happen in my life so that my eyes will be open to the rocks and blockages in my life, that i may learn to rely and depend on Him entirely and wholeheartedly. for it is through Him that all things are possible.

God loves me so much He will break me just to heal me, take me to rock bottom to restore me again, He will show me the kindess i've never known before, He will break my heart to show the love i've always longed for.

I won't understand His ways, I won't understand how breaking down means being restored again, all I know is there is a God and i'm supposed to trust Him. I won't understand how surrender means freedom, I won't understand how I can be broken, yet experience joy and peace. I won't understand why God will send people through certain trials.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and my ways are not your ways," declares the Lord. "Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

He is the Lord almighty, we won't understand His ways but we are to trust Him. He may break us down but that doesn't mean His love has ended, that doesn't mean He has abandoned us, it doesn't mean He has forgotten us.

When God breaks your heart it's not because of something you did wrong, it's because in the process of healing you, he found some cracks from the world that could not be repaired, unless he broke you down and started all over again...

I can only imagine what it will be like, when I walk by Your side.

I can only imagine what my eyes will see, when Your face is before me.

I can only imagine.. I can only imagine.

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel?

Will I dance for You, Jesus, or in honour of you, be still? Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all?

I can only imagine.. I can only imagine.

I can only imagine when that day comes, when I find myself standing in the Son.

I can only imagine when all I will do, is forever worship You.. I can only imagine.

(Mercy Me - I Can Only Imagine)

Ahh, pancakes + jam for breakfast today :) :) NOW THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL A REAL BREAKFAST. not stinking noodles hahaha

went to spring with my family + evan today to get a present for my birthday (hua huahuahuahua *evil laughter*) but yalah haha after walking around tortuously, we finally decided on a shirt from esprit (we? hahaha) and i got myself another shirt too as well since we were there and since my mom gave me money to spend. thanks daniel, evan and my mom ♥ ♥

then we went to club for a swim.. but as luck would have it, it started to rain with thunder so the pool got closed -___- so we mooched around in the library and waited for it to stop then we finally went swimming. now i'm back at home, all tired out and i have no idea what my homeworks are. aaah my back is a bit sore now i'm not sure why.. i guess i should go sleep early tonight so i wont be a zombie tomorrow in school.

:) nights everyone

Hari Permuafakatan today :) Hahah i went so early, arrived about 7.35 am when it only starts at 8, but a lot of people were in school already. I was the 2nd one to arrive at class and I saw mdm. cesilia sweeping the class in her baju kurung hahaha so funny. Overall I had good comments from her haha, thank goodness I didn't get mr. sim, confirm will get bad comments about not paying attention in class and talking during his lessons hahah.

After school, went out with my mom to eat breakfast.. WHY DO CHINESE PEOPLE LIKE TO EAT NOODLES AND KUAY TEOW AND ALL THAT NOODLES FOR BREAKFAST LA??? I REALLY DONT LIKE NOODLES. isn't breakfast supposed to be something like toast and eggs. zzzzzzzzzz -__- asians. hahaha

When I went home I suddenly remembered that I have to look for my green card cause I haven't seen it in like 3 months. And I couldn't find it boo hoo hoo T______T so i was praying please God, please help me find it, i don't want to lose it. And I STILL couldn't find it then I remembered what uncle kester was saying last night about how thanking the Lord after praying cause he has already won the battle for you (OKAY so maybe it doesn't really fit into the context of me losing my green card, BUT I WAS DESPERATE AND PANICKING) so I just said, thank you Lord for enabling me to find my green card. Then I just picked up and opened up one of my folders which I've never opened up since goodness-knows-when AND MY GREEN CARD WAS RIGHT THERE IN THAT FOLDER.

Thank you, God. Sigh *relief flooding over me*

i am so tired.. it's 4:24pm and i've just gotten home from school.. aah! darned extra classes! we hardly even learn anything. i can't believe i'm able to function on only 7 hours of sleep every night.

several of my friends are going through some things.. it's all a bit confusing and overwhelming when you're asked for advice. all i want to do is tell them about the love of God but i'm worried about what they might say. i know thats not what you call faith, but i can't help it. i've got issues of my own myself. i don't want to be a hypocrite either, preaching what i don't practise.

How many times have we asked for something in prayer, gotten the answer from some human source, and not even remembered we asked God. Once, in the Old Testament, God uses a donkey to speak to a prophet, because the prophet was no longer listening to God. Most of the time, the issue isn't that God isn't talking, it's that we're not listening. We ask Him and then ignore His answers…or we don't ask him at all.

We can't complain that God isn't talking if we don't want to hear Him. One of the ways we hear Him is through the Word He's already spoken, recorded in the Bible. If we're not spending time trying to receive the Word He's already recorded for us, we can't really expect Him to fill us with a bunch of new revelations. Want to hear God? Read and study His Word.

God uses lots of things to talk to us. But actually hearing from God isn't so much a matter of if he's talking, but rather, whether we're listening.

To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring, it just means I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization that I don’t control them.

To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit my powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands. To let go is not to try and change or blame another; I can only change myself.

To let go is not to care for, but to care about; not to fix, but to be supportive; not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to effect their own outcomes.

To let go is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality. To let go is not to deny, but to accept. To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish each moment. To let go is not to criticism and regulate anyone, but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. To let go is to fear less and love more.

To let go - is to let God.

how do you guys like my new template? i think its a lot easier and simpler than the previous one.

i've been feeling, how do you say, a bit vulnerable lately. i'm not sure if that would be the right word to describe the current state of my mind and heart.. vulnerable is the best i can come up with.

i'm also feeling slightly stressed and worried- for reasons that i myself can't exactly pinpoint.

it's alright though, somehow i manage to find solace and comfort in those quiet early hours of the morning where i seek Him.

Psalms 119:143 (NLT)

"As pressure and stress bear down on me, I find joy in your commands."

i realise that whenever i have no money, but i still tithe out of faith, and out of thankfulness for what He has done for me. i get back so much more in abundance.

truly, this is the god that we serve, creator of all things, forever providing and seeing to our needs, never to forsake us or leave us, and loving us with His unconditional love.

Come close listen to the story

About a love more faithful than the morning

The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The earth was shaking in the dark

All creation felt the Fathers Broken Heart

Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes

The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died

When blood and water hit the ground

Walls we couldn't move came crashing down

We were free and made alive

The day that True Love died.

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. (James 1:26)

i'm a hypocrite, a liar, impatient, selfish, unkind. i'm arrogant, boastful, envious, self-seeking.

all in all, i am a sinner. but by His grace, i am washed white as snow.

only God could love someone like me unconditionally :)

AWWW ETHEL IS SO SWEET!

Look what I just saw on ethel's blog :)

I admire my good friend Hannah,
Hannah Chong Poh Ka.
The girl with a palindrom for a name.
The girl who everyone loves and I don't think she knows it.

Hannah has been so very consistant with her updates.And I admire her for that.
Her literature is exquisite but she doesn't really apply it in her blog.
I've read her essays,
And I don't use the word exquisite a lot.

Ethel is so sweet :) And now I feel so mean because I think i am

quite mean to her in school, I'M SORRY ETHEL PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR BEING SO MEAN TO YOU SOMETIMES, YOU'RE ONE OF THE NICEST AND FUNNIEST PEOPLE I KNOW. I've never met anyone who could make me laugh like you and I know beneath that hard big momma exterior, you've got one of the warmest hearts out there ♥