There are so many things we have given out of us that is impossible for us to get back. Words unmeant and harsh that were spoken, often leaving us helpless to mend the hearts those words have broken - Or perhaps, words unsaid where our mouths should have opened; Sometimes what hurts more are words that are unspoken. Its the pieces of our hearts that we give away, to people who always so often never seem to stay..

Thing is, we spend a lot of time on people and in the end we end up giving away parts of our hearts to them. And when they're gone, all the things you've ever said & done can't be taken back.

But not all of the things we give out to others are bad. A smile to the passing stranger could turn around a day that's sad, a hug for a crying friend who's lost everything she's ever had, an encouraging hand of help to a tired mother, spare change to a homeless man who calls home a gutter -

Come Thou fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing Thy praise.

It’s like, it doesn’t honor God to pretend like everything is okay. That’s the beauty of Jesus that so many people miss. The beauty is that He died on the cross for our sins, but also that He existed the way we exist. He understands what it’s like to lose a friend. He’s not unfamiliar with those emotions. He’s not unfamiliar with the difficulty of human life. To me that’s what makes Jesus as God beautiful. He totally understands. He went out of His way to prove to us that He understands our situation. So when He has something to say, it’s not coming from this high and lofty standpoint. It’s coming from this person who understands intricately the perils of human existence.

— John Mark McMillan

"My friends, be aware of what you share with others. Some of the things that God is doing in your life is only for you to know. I know it’s hard to keep the exciting, challenging, and breathtaking things to yourself, but realize that somethings are made just for you to know. That’s the beauty of having intimacy with Christ."

It seems like the closer I get to God, the more I see my imperfection... but the more I see my imperfection, the more I appreciate His unconditional love.

The cross. I don't understand the cross and its simple complexity. Something that brought so much pain was necessary for the healing of brokenness - I don't understand Jesus. I don't think I ever will. You see, is God really who we perceive He is? Our human minds are so limited. If you've ever spent some time trying to figure out who this God is, what He can do and what He has done, and how He controls the future yet chooses to forget our past, and about this entire world & why evil things happen to good people and good things happen to evil people; and how He manages to weave everything together in this immense fractal tapestry, all so that it works out for the good of those who love Him, despite the choices that we make everyday?

If you've ever spent some time trying to figure out all those things and who this Godhead person/thing really is, I'm sure you'll find that you can only think for so much before your brain just stops and turns to mush. Literally, turns to mush. Basically our minds are too small to take in the capacity and immensity of who God is and the essence of what His glory is. Which brings me to the question, is God really who we perceive He is? When our minds are so limited, doesn't that mean that whatever we perceive Him to be, is actually an extremely downsized and downgraded and tiny part of who God actually is? Funny. He's bigger than the universe and yet we somehow try to fit Him into a box - Into our box of perceptions.

I don't suppose I will ever understand the craziness of who God is. He is God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit - Say what? I don't think I want to start thinking about it again, headaches are not really worth it. Food for thought.

She’s in it, she’s in love with Love Himself.

This girl has some serious self-respect; she doesn’t parade around announcing her flaws in hopes of reassurance or compliments. She knows that she was created in His image and no matter what society says; she is beautiful. She doesn’t need anyone to remind her. She knows how intricately created she is, placing her self-worth in Christ and Christ alone.

A girl who loves the LORD isn’t going to be caught up in pointless things. She doesn’t flip through the channels of the TV searching for the latest soap opera. She doesn’t mindlessly watch trashy movies, lusting over the lead actor. She isn’t flipping through the pages of a unrealistic romance novel, hoping and wishing that it comes to life. She’s studying and learning. She’s thinking and engaging with the world around her. She’s reading His Word and applying it to her life and how she interacts with others. This girl isn’t wasting her God-given gifts on the world and it’s pleasures, she’s using them toward the advancement of His Kingdom, all for the Glory of the LORD.

If you end up dating her, consider yourself blessed because you know God gave her to you. The LORD has selected her especially for you and prepared the both of you for each other. She’s not the kind of girl who pines for the next guy to come into her life. No, she is patient. She waits upon the LORD and His timing. She does not complain or become anxious, for she knows that Christ is her focus above all things.

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This weekend with Pastor Ben over has been just so amazing. I get shivers now whenever I think about all that has happened and all that God has said through him - Shivers, because its a little freaky that God knows me SO WELL. Everyone knows that God knows everything, duh, but it's a totally different thing when a pastor speaks and prophesies over you and he pinpoints EVERY. SINGLE. TINY. THING. that you're going through, and you're just sort of mindblown that... Wow. Wow. God knows you. He actually KNOWS you. Like every single little detail, every single thought, He knows you even better than you know yourself. Sometimes it might seem like He's not even there, but actually He's got you on His mind. God really confirmed a lot of things for me this weekend; I'm still sort of in shock that He could love me, care for me, and be so relentless for me that much. Yeah, relentless is the word. He's relentless for us.

I pray that this week, He will keep us all safe. That He will open our hearts and minds to receive all that He wants to teach us. That we will all be willing vessels, soft clay in His hands; humble, easy to bend, and ready to forgive. And most of all, I pray that this week, we will learn to lean not on our own strength and mind, but do radical and perhaps ridiculous things by faith for Him. Don't be depressed that tomorrow is Monday and a whole week is ahead of you - but be excited for every single day, because walking with God is supposed to be an adventure. When it feels mundane and routine-like, then you've got a problem, take it to the Lord and ask Him to take you on an adventure with Him. I know I will! :) Have a blessed week.

I've got this sudden random thought. Have you ever seen a girl in a relationship, and she's just so confident with herself? Not confident in the sense that she thinks she's practically the best thing created on this entire earth, but confident in her own skin and she's alright with bad-hair-days and a few pimples and sweatpants. Because she knows she's got someone to love, who looks beyond her face and clothes, who accepts her for who she is. I've seen lots of people in relationships and it strikes me that a girl in a relationship who is so comfortable with her partner, does not place a huge importance in always looking good; because she isn't looking good for other people anymore. She already looks good in her partner's eyes, and that's enough for her. It just occurs to me that we're in a relationship with Jesus Christ and yet we strive so hard to look good to other people. When we've already got the best Lover we could have, we still try to appeal to others with our looks and just basically, look good in accordance with the world. Does this make sense, or is it one of those things that only makes sense in my head? Hmm, I guess what I'm saying is, our confidence comes from truly knowing that we've got Someone that looks beyond the physical and into our hearts, and He loves us all the same. :)

I just finished watching Facing the Giants and practically bawled my eyes out from beginning to end. This is my favourite scene in the movie. Its the breakthrough scene. Where Coach Grant ties a blindfold around the eyes of the team's leader, Brock. "Cause I don't want you giving up at a certain point when you can go farther."

Sometimes we have burdens in life but God put that burden there for a reason. God put that situation there for a reason. And he wants to teach us to put on that blindfold - that blindfold where we STOP looking at the situation, where we STOP looking at that point where we think we can't go on any longer, where we STOP looking at our limitations - and we LOOK at God and His absolute greatness. As Brock had that blindfold on and trudged through the field, giving his best - he reached the end of the entire field. He thought that he couldn't do it, but once the blindfold was on and he couldn't see the point where he thought was his limit, he did it.

God's like that. God won't put a burden in our life that we can't handle. What we do is put on a blindfold, stop looking at our own limitations and allow God's strength to work through us. That others may see that it is not of our own self, but God and His power through us.

Brock was looked on as a leader to his team, and so we as Christians are supposed to be leaders to others in this world. Leaders that follow the actions of Jesus, and are humble enough to bend down on our knees and serve others by washing their feet. When we show the strength of God working through us in our lives, we set an example that others can actually see; We actually live out His words by loving others not just in our words but in actions and in truth. Leaders that live to serve.

Thank you everyone, for the beautiful birthday wishes, thoughtful gifts & amazing friendships; you guys have made my birthday a really special one! :) I'm 16 now, it feels nice to finally feel my age! I feel like I've been 16 for 2 years, haha, does that make sense?! Maybe thinking too much makes you feel older than what you really are. Well, 16 years of having a faithful and loving God watching out for me every step of the way, I look back on the rather few years of my life and I can see the footprints of God all over the roads I've taken. He's matured me in certain things and I am definitely sure that He's gonna mature me in a huge load more things in the times to come! I'm happy to say that I'm like cheese, the more He matures me with time, the more delicious I become... (Lets not bring up the topic of the stinkiness of cheese though.)

How could I even start to measure the extent of His loving-kindness and grace in this one blog, when all the books in the world would not even be enough to record all of His good deeds? God has indeed brought me further than I thought possible in an impossibly short amount of time, which makes me really wonder about the infinite possibilities of my future when He is in control. The safest place in the world is in His hands. Thank you God, for your new mercies everyday; thank you friends, for being such angels and blessings in my life!

I'm the kind of person that reads books in class when the teacher doesn't arrive instead of completing my (increasing load of) add maths homework like how the hardworking kids do, like the very obedient guy sitting next to me in class. So I guess I kind of annoy him when I suddenly burst out laughing or tear up in the middle of reading my book and he's trying to solve some weird equation thing I don't even remember learning. He thinks I'm weird to be able to find a book so funny or touching, because to him a book is just a book.. According to him, normal people don't laugh or cry when reading books! However I read online what someone wrote about reading books -

Reading can be annoying though. It's like a friggin mini real-life relationship in itself. You are unsure when you first pick the book up, not knowing if you'll like it, and as you read on, you get deeper and deeper with feelings, and then when it ends...it's like you're forced to leave and you feel kinda lost. Then you look for another book to be your rebound book, just to make you feel better, but you fall into the same trap if it's a good book and sooner or later you'll feel crappy when it ends.

I think, that there are two kinds of people in this world - People who love to read, and people who don't. I feel sad when a book ends, and you feel like you've gotten to know the characters so well :( When I finished reading the entire harry potter series till the very end, I was miserable for a few days because the story ended hahahaha. Its tough being a book-lover sometimes, where you meet the people that you will never meet....

Hmm, anyway, someone I don't know gave me a few bars of chocolate for my birthday, but I think I know who its from. I don't like it when someone gives me presents and doesn't reveal who they are! It makes me feel very suspicious and I don't even wanna eat the chocolate, WHO KNOWS WHATS BEEN DONE TO IT, I think I'll bring it to school and share it around teehee spread the love. Speaking of love I got a secret-admirer-card along with the chocolates, but seriously... 'Romance' at this age is very amusing don't you think, in an adorable puppy sort of way.. I don't even know where I put the card, I think I accidentally dropped it somewhere on the Jubilee grounds.. Cheers to the lucky person that finds it! I don't wanna seem ungrateful though, thanks for the chocolates whoever-you-are-but-I-think-I-know-who-you-are! (but really, the card was a little too much.)

Teehee, today I went to get my hair cut with Jaomi, we decided to go on a whim and cut our hair in a retarded way that we would never have thought of doing, EVER! It was, uhm, I don't know, we were sort of speechless and thinking, "WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!?!?!?" when we sat there and they started snipping, PANIC MOMENT! Hehe but its okay. As time goes by, I'm not so touchy about my hair and about looking good all the time. Maybe I've finally grown comfortable in my own skin, or maybe I've grown in Christ and He's led me to know that my confidence lies in Him, He is my one true Love, the song that I sing - Does it really matter how funny I look? Cause with Him, the joy He pours into our lives will always be enough to make our hearts sing, no matter how funny or bad or silly we look!

Looks never define hearts, and the saying "We are our own worst critic" rings true cause.. Honestly, the way we think we're ugly/fat/dumb/clumsy comes from our own minds, sometimes its planted there by the Devil, and the worst thing is? We actually BELIEVE the Hugest Liar in existence. God made each and every one of us beautiful. I pray that all of us (myself included) would know and realise and experience the fullness of His love for us and how beautiful He thinks we are, and really just be satisfied with how we look because once again, our confidence lies in Him. Once we start defining our self-worth & beauty & looks by worldly things, everything just falls apart. We're not of this world, we're citizens of God's Kingdom, how great is the Love that the Father has lavished on us that we should be called CHILDREN OF GOD! ♡ And you can bet that Daddy ain't gon' create no ugly chickas.


Pro's about having funny straight-styled bangs =

(1) You can squint your eyes real small, pretend to talk on the phone with a really loud voice, and look totally Chinese. Teehee

(2) You can shake the straight bangs over your eyes, hold out a peace sign, act like an ah lian and make your friends cry with laughter (or horror).

(3) You can take this as an opportunity to change your hair parting!

OK maybe the third one doesn't make much sense to you guys, but it does for me. For the past year, my hair has been in the same side parting. I have this extreme paranoia/fear that if my hair spends too long in that side parting, one day I will start to go bald in that area and all my hair on the side with less hair will fall out and I will only have hair left on the right side of my head! Also I didn't know how to change my parting to the other side of my head without looking weird, so now this is a good opportunity for me to change it (cause now, my whole head looks weird, no one would notice anything hahahahaha). ;)

I see a girl walking past, not-so-skinny legs, hair plastered to her face, glasses, struggling and huffing, eyes on the ground, hurrying to her destination. I wonder, "Does she know, she's beautiful?" I see a girl walking past, skinny, frizzy, painfully shy, clutching at her books, rushing past and avoiding stares. I wonder, "Does she know, she's beautiful?" I see a girl walking past, fluffy hair, pug nosed, eyes averted from other people's, reluctant to see what she finds in another's opinions; above the average weight, but really, whats average anyway? - And I wonder, "Does she know, she's beautiful?"

The way they refuse to glance at the faces of other people, how their shoulders slump as they try to hide their body, who they are, tells a tale of insecurity in a world that was never secure. Pictures and advertisements shove themselves in your faces, Please buy me, I'll make you beautiful! I think the better phrase is, Please buy me, I'll make you feel good temporarily and watch as you sink back into the quicksand of wanting to be who you were never meant to be. She could strut as confidently as she likes, chest out, stomach in, but the insecurity in her eyes will not mask the fact that she knows there is someone out there more attractive than she is. But that's okay, she'll just have to try harder, then, won't she? Throw herself deeper into elite brands and glam, glossy hair, makeup, and remember; chest out stomach in! - Its all about the body language, isn't it?, sexy, sexy, sexy, flip hair, purse lips, sexy, sexy , sexy. Its all about the body language - Now let me see some collarbone and skin.

There's the average girl for you. There's what the media has done, there's the damage that has torn innocence apart. This airbrushed society has hammered into the minds of the people, a perfect 36-24-36, that's what you'll have to have if you want love in this world. Society screaming out at you, conform to tall, skinny, conform to pretty, witty, conform to dirty nitty gritty, throw that hip bone out and strike a pose! Hairless, shameless, breathless - Girl, this world is yours for the making, be pretty or be left behind.

That's what the world says. And people actually wonder at the increase in depression, suicide, anorexia, bulimia, drugs, sex, alcohol - Its not an increase in damaging issues, its an increase of young people trying to find their worth in things that cannot define what they're worth. This generation has become a lost generation, lost in the glitz and glamour of Hollywood, the shining lights of partying, dancing, drinking, lost in trying to be beautiful, this generation is lost and broken and loveless. Selfish, advantage-seeking, insecure. In a bid to become perfect, we have made this generation all the more aware of their imperfections and flaws - and they feel that is wrong. Its wrong to be, less than perfect. Where is the sense in that?



So tell me, what's ugly? The people, or society?

Its easy to tell yourself you don't care. Toss your hair over your shoulder, shake your head a little and whisper, "I don't care." Whisper it to yourself, but do you really believe it? Please stop telling yourself you don't care, when you know you do. Stop trying to hide it, stop trying to shove it under layers and layers of telling yourself that its OK, because I don't know if you know this but, God cares for the really, really small things that you think He doesn't care about. I'll let you in on a story. One day, I was feeling sad and disappointed and hurt about a really small matter. Just something really small where a friend disappointed me, and I didn't think that God would care because it was something so insignificantly tiny, so I just told myself that its okay and I would get over it. And I said my prayers (Ignoring the small lie I told myself that day, that "Its OK.") and went to sleep. And I woke up feeling really terrible, still sad and hurt. I was going to turn over to the other side, ignore it and get back to sleep, when suddenly something stopped me. I felt God hold my heart and heal that small disappointment. How do I explain it? But it was really warm, it was real, and tangible; He reached in and literally healed my cut heart &bound up my wound. I had no idea that a hurt so small, could receive that kind of attention from my Father. He stopped everything and turned His attention to my heart, because His love is greater than anything we could ever know. So, this is for the person, that feels like his or her hurt/thought/problem/disappointment/etc is too small for God to care. Don't think that He wouldn't be bothered. He cares for every single little tiny thing that bothers you.

"He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds." (Psalm 147:3)

People swear by someone greater than themselves, and the oath confirms what is said and puts an end to all argument.

Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of His purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised*, He confirmed it with an oath.

God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged.

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm & secure.

It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus,

Has entered on our behalf.

— Hebrews 6:16-20

*(We are the heirs, Romans 8:17)