Ecclesiastes 3:11

Daughter, I want you to know who you are in me. I mean who you really are in me- completely loved and totally forgiven. I want you to trust me one step, one day, one second at a time. Dwell in My power and My love and be all that you are in me, in My strength, and in My power. Do not fear what might happen or what the future may bring because my grace is sufficient and I will take care of you. Daughter, I know that you long to give yourself to someone, to have a deep relationship with him, and to be loved thoroughly and exclusively by him. But I must say no. Not until my love is enough. Not until you can see yourself truly complete in me. I love you, my child. Until you discover that your joy and satisfaction can be found in me alone, you will not be capable of handling the problems and disappointments that are part of every relationship. You can never be truly united with another in the way your heart desires, only I can fill that emptiness, only I can supply that need, only I can love you enough. You must be united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings before you will have the strength to endure the many heart-aches and, yes, even soul-aches of even a seemingly perfect human relationship. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you my faithfulness, my gentleness, and my self-control. Then, you will need no other. Daughter, I want you to allow me to be enough. You must keep your eyes on me, expecting the greatest and the best things from me. Keep experiencing the satisfaction of knowing that I am and that you are my child. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. Stay close by my side. Seek my face in the morning, my presence throughout the day, and my comfort at night. I am always there, Daughter. I will never leave you or forsake you. But, you must wait. Don’t be anxious. Do not get in a hurry. Don’t look around and fear or envy the things others have received from me. You must keep from looking off or away. Look up to me or you’ll miss the things I want to show you, and then, when you are ready, I’ll give you the desires I have put in your heart, the strength to endure all things, and the courage to risk your heart. You see, until you are ready and the one I have for you is ready… I am working even this minute to have you both ready at the same time… until you are both living to, which you will, however imperfectly, reflect your relationship in me.

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"Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end."

Loneliness is no stranger to all of us. Loneliness has no pick with age or culture or background - We all know it. Those times where we could be in a room full of people but still feel like an island in the midst of an ocean. Cast your eyes to the skies and feel the weight of everything press in on you as the lights dim between your flickering eyelids. Breathe in the air and it's thickness settles in your lungs. Where the city lights flicker among the darkness of night, reminding you of the millions of people in the world, and yet. Like a heavy gray shadow treading softly behind human footsteps of long ago, left behind - How tiring it is, to want something you don't have. The human need of being loved and secured. It's hard to love a God that I cannot see with my own eyes. Hard to love a God that I cannot feel at times. Hard to love a God with a voice so soft that I have to strain to catch His whispers. Hard to love a God for who's sake I sacrifice all things and reject the world.

I close my eyes and take in another breath. Heavy, ponderous, melancholy. He brings to mind the breaking of soft, gentle waves along the shore. Glittering in the sunlight, it has no choice. A beautiful pattern. The sand is its boundary, one wave at a time. The deep calls out and it's voice it heard along the breaking shoreline. He brings to mind a single leaf being taken along the wind's course. It twists and turns and flies, trembles in it's slight singleness, at the mercy of a current the leaf cannot see but must bend to, taken up higher and higher and higher. Higher, higher, higher, the wind is relentless. But higher.

And I know.

Had I not a God that I couldn't see with my own eyes - How much less would I be able to see the pinholes through which He works through in my life? How could I see Him in all His glory with my own eyes when they themselves fail to see the beauty that which His hands has made? And I know that I am seeing Him when the sun rises, when a flower blooms, when the stars twinkle together in their night dance.

Had I not a God that I cannot feel at times - How could I learn to trust in His words and promises? How could I base His presence on my feelings when they themselves fail in giving me wisdom and guidance? And I know that the faith I give will be given back to me, a good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over. Where what I entrust to Him, I am sure that He is able to guard until that day what I have entrusted to Him.

Had I not a God with a sweet and soft whisper - How would I be able to throw all else aside and seek with desperation His assuring voice? How else could I learn to silence the great and strong gust roaring around around me and submit to the gentle blowing wind? And I know that His still, small callings teaches me that among the other voices clamouring out to me to lay aside my values - I instead listen to Him, and lay aside that which is unworthy of my attention.

And had I not a God for whom I choose to reject the world... I would not be learning to settle only for what I am worth, and for who He has planned for me.

"Facebook message me! Twitter isn't working, I can't DM you right now", "Hey check your phone I texted you", "Why didn't you reply my Whatsapp/BBM/iMessage?" - I am so sick of technology accelerating a relationship that is premature. Think about it. Just because two people have texted each other 6 hours a day for two weeks, they assume they know everything about each other. Well, no. Technology can never communicate sincerity, the millions of facial expressions, intonations, a hurting pause, the flicker of an eye, as well as reality can. Don't expect wonders beyond a screen. Don't settle for an instant connectivity to substitute a beautiful experience. Optical fibers ain't gonna give you the same sparks that a real conversation can. Instant messaging takes no effort on each other's part. Call me a cavelady who's still stuck trying to relive the chivalry of the Middle Ages, but I think, oh wait, I know I'm pretty much worth the pursuit.

1 Timothy 6:6

Spending time with God always puts everything into perspective. It's choosing to say, my life isn't okay right now and these feelings are not right, and God, You have to show me and tell me why I feel this way. God, I'm not budging till you tell me why. I don't care how terrible You tell me my heart is or how much darkness I am still hiding or the things I tell myself I am not - God, You need to show me because I am never going to go beyond this mark and I know I am not going to grow if I don't know the reason why. We can never grow if we are trying to move forward but we know somewhere that there is something not right. The reasons why it's not right doesn't seem very clear and sometimes it doesn't even seem important. But that snag could be what holds us back and tears a hole in us that can only get bigger over time if we don't mend it. The Holy Spirit is there in us for a reason, to guide us and to teach us. He is God in us. He is uneasy when there is something in us which isn't right with God. He tells us. The small pangs of conviction in us is a sign for us to check our motives and reasons and heart. Always checking and searching our heart is discipline for us - and discipline never seems pleasant at that time, but painful. However, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11)

Child,
why are you comparing
as if all that I have given you
is not enough?

But God, no
You gave Your life up for me
how could that not be enough?

Then
I have given you all you need,
compare no more.

"Godliness with contentment is great gain."

On God's Will

Question: How can I tell what God wants me to do? I never make any big decision without praying about it first, but most of the time I feel like God doesn’t give me a clear answer. I don’t want to date just anyone, but I don’t know how to tell if the guy I like is the one God wants for me. That scenario also applies to colleges and jobs. Like, currently, I’m trying to get my first job, but I’m feeling pretty nervous about it and I don’t know if it’s something He wants me to do. How can I tell?

Answer: Thanks so much for the question. What you’re talking about in this question has to do with discernment. In other words, there is no crystal clear Bible verse that tells you specifically which college to go to or which guy to date, so how do I pick the one God wants for me in the midst of so many choices? Obviously, you’re starting this whole process out beautifully by praying about everything, (so hats off to you on that score) but the question remains: What next?


Not many people talk about this, but I really believe that a huge key to growing in discernment is learning to be submissive. What I mean is this: Decide right now that you want to completely give your heart, your will and your future to the Lord. Decide right now that you are submitting your life to His will. You want Him to have the freedom to call the shots because you trust His heart and you know that His plans are awesome and that they are for your best.


Now, I know this seems obvious, but trust me, it’s not. And it’s not the way most Christians make decisions. You see, the Bible may not tell you the first middle and last name of the guy God wants you to date, but it is crystal clear about the fact that it is God’s will for you to remain sexually pure. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5) Translation: Some folks spend all their time and energy trying to find the ‘right’ guy, but then they put absolutely no thought or prayer into doing what it takes to remain sexually pure with that guy. I mean Biblically speaking, if you take the purity thing as seriously as most folks take the selection process, you could date a bunch of folks, find out a lot about yourself and who is right for you without suffering the kind of emotional shipwreck that people do when they give themselves sexually to the so-called ‘greatest guy ever’ that just broke their heart.


Again, the Bible may not tell you exactly which job to apply for, but it says explicitly that it is God’s will for you to remain joyful, pray all the time and continuously give thanks in every situation. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) If you made it your goal to pursue joy, prayer and a grateful heart and then just took a job, (any ole job) you might find God opening and closing doors that lead you right to where He wants you be - as opposed to a person who gets their dream job, but then complains about it every day and as a result, has no joy and doesn’t hear God at all.


You see, discernment is less about the details, and more about the attitude. If you submit your heart to the will of God and decide right now that in all of your decisions, you want to do things His way, then He may just open up the doors for you without you having to decide.

Source: Lee Younger

I like this a lot. It's not about how much we know or are sure of, but how much our attitudes are willing to obey Him.

In all things, Your Kingdom come, Your will be done.

Philippians 2:5-9

They always say that if you consider something important enough, you'll find a way to never let it go.

But I don't agree.

Sometimes, if you consider something important enough, there will be times where you have to let go.

How many of us value our lives? We do. We'll find ways not to die before our time. We'll exercise, take vitamins, laugh more. We'll adopt a pet, eat organic, stop smoking. Anything to improve the quality of our lives, because our lives are that valuable.

But Jesus considered our lives important enough - to let His go.

For our sake.

We never want to let go of things that we consider important. Maybe we think we'll never have another chance, that we'll lose whatever it is forever.

That's not the case.

Jesus let go of His life. Now He's in Heaven sitting at the right hand of God. He's in a better place compared to this earth.

Sometimes we are fearful of letting go because we don't know what the future holds.

Jesus already set an example.

Choose Christ and let go of what you deem as precious, and He will see to it that what you get in return is worth it.

God knows our heart, and when we step out and move into new unfamiliar territories, He honors us, not for what we have or have not done, but because we faithfully put Him at the center of all we do. *samnaka

"In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to His own advantage; rather, He made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted Him to the highest place and gave Him the name that is above every name."

James 1:26-27

"If anyone considers himself religious and YET does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is WORTHLESS."
We could be as holy as holy could be.. We could go to church 5 times a week, sing praises in our loudest voice, yell Amen's and Hallelujah's at the pastor's every word - and yet, if we go out into the world and our tongues follow the ways of the world, EVERYTHING we have done in the house of God is NULLIFIED. It says so plainly in the Bible, what use is it if we are so religious and we proclaim to love our God, but if our tongues act as a small flame that brings an entire forest down in a huge fire.. Our religion and the life we live is a lie. Our sacrifices unto God is made invalid. Gossip, slander, envy, lies - we shoot it off our mouths like God overlooks it. As if the God we serve considers murder worse than slander. As if God holds us accountable for causing another to stumble, but not from the fruits of our lips.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
And yet so often when a person less 'perfect' than us comes along our way, we laugh and pretend to love them. We offer them a hand that has been blackened by the dirt of our own sins and words that have been tainted by the deceitfulness of our own tongues, and we think that we are loving like Jesus has called us to do. We dare to serve while standing, unaware that one needs soiled knees and a humility bigger than our pride to wash another's feet. We blatantly follow the ways of the world in regard to relationships and materialism. The body that says to unbelievers, "Love not the ways of this world!" is the same body that unashamedly conforms to the patterns of the world.

So many thoughts ringing through my head, conviction after conviction after conviction. We think we are okay but we are stumbling blocks to those who try to seek truth. We are not who we think we are - Judge me by the fruits that I produce. Where are the fruits we are supposed to be seeing?

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

Pretty cupcakes from the SSPCA fair! I wonder why icing always looks so pretty, but tastes so bad.

Christmas decorations in theSpring!

There's Jaomi, me, Crystal, and Han Then at Paulus&Yee Chee's wedding dinner. 

And the brother is back, so now there probably won't be any more food left in the fridge after a week.

Camp is in 2 days! Stoked. See you guys till then. x

I've just bought my (not so expensive) 2012 planner, AND a (horribly expensive) cover for it! How exciting! I can't wait to use it :) I'm sure I'm not the only one that gets excited over managing my time...... Am I? It brings to mind God managing my times. I wonder if He has this huge planner to record down what we're going to do? Somehow I don't think so. I'm sure God's not that scatterbrained to have to rely on a planner. Unlike the person that just bought a planner, uh... But really. My mind hits a brick wall when I try to imagine God having such a specific plan for each and every human on this earth, and how He can manage to just work all our lives out equally amazingly. Seeing that it's my exam year next year, I'm wondering, my goodness, where am I supposed to go after my exams? I'm really not worried though. God has a plan and I know that! It's such a relief knowing that there is a God who's looking out for you and caring for you and He's got not only your back, but your front as well. 

And.. I bought coloured tape? Which were sort of a rip-off because once you try to tape something, the colour can hardly be seen. Pah! On another totally unrelated note, church camp is in 4 more days and I am absolutely stoked. I remember last years camp, and how Jesus decided to surprise us with something we weren't expecting and come in an altogether different way - let's expect something different from the same faithful God this year too. Like I wrote in December 2010, "I don't want to be stuck in the same cycle of expectancy, of putting the hugely creative God into some small box; I don't want to be stuck in the previous wave if God is leading us into a new one."

The Paradox of Our Age

"The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time. More degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, and watch TV too much.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years.

We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, yet still have trouble crossing the street to meet our new neighbor. We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things. We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait; have higher incomes, but lower morals; more food, and less appeasement. We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less and less communication.

We’ve become long on quantity, but short on quality. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short characters; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more food, and less nutrition.

These are the days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. Of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or just to hit delete..."