Ecclesiastes 3:11

Daughter, I want you to know who you are in me. I mean who you really are in me- completely loved and totally forgiven. I want you to trust me one step, one day, one second at a time. Dwell in My power and My love and be all that you are in me, in My strength, and in My power. Do not fear what might happen or what the future may bring because my grace is sufficient and I will take care of you. Daughter, I know that you long to give yourself to someone, to have a deep relationship with him, and to be loved thoroughly and exclusively by him. But I must say no. Not until my love is enough. Not until you can see yourself truly complete in me. I love you, my child. Until you discover that your joy and satisfaction can be found in me alone, you will not be capable of handling the problems and disappointments that are part of every relationship. You can never be truly united with another in the way your heart desires, only I can fill that emptiness, only I can supply that need, only I can love you enough. You must be united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings before you will have the strength to endure the many heart-aches and, yes, even soul-aches of even a seemingly perfect human relationship. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you my faithfulness, my gentleness, and my self-control. Then, you will need no other. Daughter, I want you to allow me to be enough. You must keep your eyes on me, expecting the greatest and the best things from me. Keep experiencing the satisfaction of knowing that I am and that you are my child. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. Stay close by my side. Seek my face in the morning, my presence throughout the day, and my comfort at night. I am always there, Daughter. I will never leave you or forsake you. But, you must wait. Don’t be anxious. Do not get in a hurry. Don’t look around and fear or envy the things others have received from me. You must keep from looking off or away. Look up to me or you’ll miss the things I want to show you, and then, when you are ready, I’ll give you the desires I have put in your heart, the strength to endure all things, and the courage to risk your heart. You see, until you are ready and the one I have for you is ready… I am working even this minute to have you both ready at the same time… until you are both living to, which you will, however imperfectly, reflect your relationship in me.

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"Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end."

Loneliness is no stranger to all of us. Loneliness has no pick with age or culture or background - We all know it. Those times where we could be in a room full of people but still feel like an island in the midst of an ocean. Cast your eyes to the skies and feel the weight of everything press in on you as the lights dim between your flickering eyelids. Breathe in the air and it's thickness settles in your lungs. Where the city lights flicker among the darkness of night, reminding you of the millions of people in the world, and yet. Like a heavy gray shadow treading softly behind human footsteps of long ago, left behind - How tiring it is, to want something you don't have. The human need of being loved and secured. It's hard to love a God that I cannot see with my own eyes. Hard to love a God that I cannot feel at times. Hard to love a God with a voice so soft that I have to strain to catch His whispers. Hard to love a God for who's sake I sacrifice all things and reject the world.

I close my eyes and take in another breath. Heavy, ponderous, melancholy. He brings to mind the breaking of soft, gentle waves along the shore. Glittering in the sunlight, it has no choice. A beautiful pattern. The sand is its boundary, one wave at a time. The deep calls out and it's voice it heard along the breaking shoreline. He brings to mind a single leaf being taken along the wind's course. It twists and turns and flies, trembles in it's slight singleness, at the mercy of a current the leaf cannot see but must bend to, taken up higher and higher and higher. Higher, higher, higher, the wind is relentless. But higher.

And I know.

Had I not a God that I couldn't see with my own eyes - How much less would I be able to see the pinholes through which He works through in my life? How could I see Him in all His glory with my own eyes when they themselves fail to see the beauty that which His hands has made? And I know that I am seeing Him when the sun rises, when a flower blooms, when the stars twinkle together in their night dance.

Had I not a God that I cannot feel at times - How could I learn to trust in His words and promises? How could I base His presence on my feelings when they themselves fail in giving me wisdom and guidance? And I know that the faith I give will be given back to me, a good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over. Where what I entrust to Him, I am sure that He is able to guard until that day what I have entrusted to Him.

Had I not a God with a sweet and soft whisper - How would I be able to throw all else aside and seek with desperation His assuring voice? How else could I learn to silence the great and strong gust roaring around around me and submit to the gentle blowing wind? And I know that His still, small callings teaches me that among the other voices clamouring out to me to lay aside my values - I instead listen to Him, and lay aside that which is unworthy of my attention.

And had I not a God for whom I choose to reject the world... I would not be learning to settle only for what I am worth, and for who He has planned for me.