"Lazy people want much but get little, but those who work hard will prosper." Proverbs 13:4

I've got a lot to study, and I don't want to fail anything (I'll just say that I'm Asian, so a fail to me means anything less than a 60... Ha-ha pretty low Asian standards if you ask me :p) I'd say I place expectations on myself, because I know that I can be excellent if I put my mind to it. (I'm not even bragging here. There are so many students out there who are so much greater than I am.. But what I'm saying is that I know I can achieve the results that I want if I manage to kick my butt into action. Easier said than done!) But I'm lazy and not hardworking. I loooove to sleep. Procrastination has been my habit for way too long. I'm only just beginning to work my way out of these bad habits of studying:

1. Putting things off when you can do it NOW.
2. Not organising time right.
3. Thinking, "Oh, I've still got time to do it."
4. Planning to do things out BUT not getting around to doing it.

In accordance with the first point, procrastination is the thief of time. I've only begun to realise it the past 2 years or so. Why put off till tomorrow what you can do today? Sooner or later, everything that you haven't done is going to accumulate and you'll be left in a far worse state than when you started. So with this realisation, it annoys me somewhat when people tell me that the assignment they're supposed to do today can be put off till tomorrow, or that they'll copy it off from someone else smarter the next day. There's no results to be gotten if no effort is put into it. What's the point of not even bothering to try, or copying? Just to scrape through without having the teacher threaten you? Or in the case of exams, what's the point of copying answers from a smarter person? Just so that you'll pass, or to prove that you can get high marks? You don't just sit there and yell out at God, "O Lord, BLESS MAH STUDIES, AMEN!" and not do anything, and then expect to get incredible results - a person with no faith in any deity would still get higher results than you.

You don't cheat anyone but yourself when you procrastinate. You cheat yourself out of time, and you cheat yourself out of the rewards that can be reaped when you set out to do what seems difficult at first. There is no easy road in life. In everything that you do, you will have obstacles and difficulties. When I say that perhaps Form 6 might be an option for me, people are horrified and tell me not to take it because it's supposedly extremely difficult. I'll ask you then, what's easy in life? A Levels? IB? Foundation? Everything requires effort. Everything requires sacrifice. If the only road that you want to take in life is the easy road, without striving to achieve, then what road can you take? I've said it before, and unrepentantly I'll say it again - Your attitude is what matters most, and what determines most.

I don't necessarily think that putting an effort into your studies is considered "kiasu". Kiasu is being upset at getting a 93 because you wanted a 100. Kiasu is studying hard for the main point of beating the person who's got higher grades than you. Kiasu-ness is selfishly competitive in an attempt to be the best. Effort is being grateful for your score because of the work you've put into getting it, it's being OK with getting a 93 because its realistic. Effort is studying to achieve personal goals, and not for the satisfaction of seeing others lower than you.

You can achieve good results in your studies if you set your mind to it and put in the required effort. I will be honest and say that I dislike it when people tell me that I got good marks for a subject "because I'm so smart" and "I'm not like them". I dislike it when people compare themselves and say that they're "stupid" or "not as smart". My opinion is that no one is stupid. No one is "not smart". If your results are less than what you are satisfied with, then go and study more. Oh, but then people would say, I don't know how to study! I'm not like you! Your brain is different than mine!

..... I'd say that everyone has a different brain, and if you never use it, you'll never know the best way it works for you.

*rant over*

Update: Apparently someone found my blog by Google searching "old ladies party". I am very amused.

1 John 4:7-21

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear."

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?

Wake me up, breathe into me. As I find peace again in unfailing grace. As my soul stirs in the warmth of Your love, like how the sun rays beam down upon the drooping daisy that has seen too many days of rain.

Whisper softly, call my name. As I still my heart again to hear Your voice. As my soul rests and listens for the path You have laid out for me, like how You are the Master Potter and all is in Your hands for You to mould as You will.

Gentle presence, guide my life. As I lay it all down again to follow after You. As I choose to pick up my cross daily, my very self denied for the righteousness of Christ, and in Him I live and move and have my being.

Able arms, pick me up. As I find myself being lifted upon eagle's wings. As I hope in Him and surrender all, giving up my right to understand and be in control - For once again, I remind myself, this is not my life.

"I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live -
But Christ lives in me.

The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God -
Who loved me, and gave Himself for me."

Jeremiah 18:4, Luke 9:23, Acts 17:28, Isaiah 40:30, Galatians 2:20

Questions and feelings

1:41am, on a Tuesday morning.

Lord, I don't understand how and why You do the things you do. I am so undeserving, and yet there are others who deserve Your love so much more than I do but go through hard times. Those who are faithful and reliant on You, but endure so much pain and suffering - yet here am I, barely walking the straight path, with a life others could call near perfect. This isn't fair. Perhaps I should be the one suffering. The one enduring the hurt. God knows I deserve it - think about how many times I have vowed to You, and then turned around and betrayed You with my words, thoughts, and actions. I am the nails in Your hands. I am the thorns on Your brow. I am the spear in Your side.

Perhaps, most probably, definitely, I have the wrong perspective of You and Your love and who You really are and what You really consider us to be. But it is difficult, and I am at a standstill in the midst of the ocean. I am a mess; an alphabet soup, a crumbling apple pie. I understand, and yet at the same time I do not understand.

Sometimes I feel like You shouldn't love me anymore, because I've disappointed You enough and someone as perfect as You shouldn't have to keep putting up with such a child as this. I feel like You should just set me in a corner and push me along and say, alright, you've messed up enough, its just you along this path right now, try not to screw up too much maybe? And maybe when you get your act together again, I'll come and pick you up.

The thing is I know, I know, I know, that it is not the Jesus of the faith. That is not what His character is like, its not who He is, its what He would never do. He is love and faith and hope and grace. I know that He is always there, ever willing to pour out grace and love each time, but a part of me fears that one day, everything will just run out and He will get tired of me disappointing Him. Do you understand what I am trying to lay out? It is so difficult to explain. My questions are, what is the extent of His grace to a believer that knows and understands the fullness of His life and yet keeps running away? When will He withdraw from the believer who has seen and tasted that the Lord is good but continues to falter between solid ground and sand?

... Update. 12:17pm, just woke up on a Tuesday afternoon.

Freedom Truths and Cancerous Lies


Anonymous asked: Hi Unka Glen. I’ve been feeling so down lately and I noticed that it affects my christian life (prayer & devotion). How can I restore it again? How can I make my christian life more lively?



Unka Glen answered: There are two schools of thought on this kind of situation. The first is that people are sinners, so when they feel bad, or do something bad, it’s because of the sin in their life, and they need to stop sinning, and know that Jesus is the answer to everything.

The second school of thought is similar, but perhaps a bit more evolved. Yes, we are all imperfect sinners who constantly feel the pull of temptation from our flesh, but on a deeper level, it’s about a struggle between the lies we’ve been sold, and the truth. Moreover, there is also a constant pull from the Holy Spirit, drawing us closer to Himself.

Thus, if we break down the lies, it’s like casting off a hindrance and ridding ourselves of those things that entangle us (Hebrews 12:1), and then we can better respond to the pull of the Holy Spirit.

In this second school of thought, sin (and lots of our suffering in general) is the result of buying into those lies. Think about it this way— if I open a person’s brain and implant a lie that says that God doesn’t love you, what would be the likely result? Well, they wouldn’t go to God for strength or comfort because they’d figure God wouldn’t want to give it to them.

So they’d turn to the things of the world to comfort themselves, and they’d have no strength to resist becoming addicted and dependent on those things. But here’s the important part, you can get someone over that addiction, they can confess their sins with bitter tears, but if the lie is still there, then this whole thing will just play itself out again.

At the heart of every struggle, there’s a lie. That struggle could be an emotional struggle, a lifestyle struggle, or a relationship struggle. Dig deep enough, and you’ll find a lie from the enemy (no wonder Jesus called him the “Father of Lies”). Replace it with the truth, and the truth will set you free.

Here are a few common lies you may have bought into:

- It’s never going to be any better than this
- How can you be saved? Look at what you’re doing!
- God is not impressed with you (and He needs to be impressed)
- You aren’t what God is looking for
- If I changed for the better, I’d be invisible
- I’ve got one good chance to get this right
- Yes, God technically loves me, but…

Your life should be about finding these lies, and replacing them with the truth of God’s Word. Every time you beat up on yourself, you’re feeding a sin-producing lie in your life. Every bad body image thought, every insecurity, all the self-pity, they’re all symptoms of lies that are spreading like a cancer, and taking things from bad to worse.

Know the truth, and the truth will set you free. Here are some truths to focus on:

- You are God’s treasured possession (Deuteronomy 14:2)
- You are awesomely and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
- You are a child of God. (John 1:12)
- You will not be condemned by God, you have been set free from the law of sin and -death. (Romans 8:1-2)
- The Son of God gave His life to ransom you. (Mark 10:45)
- You have been accepted by Christ. (Romans 15:7)
- You have been chosen by God to obtain an inheritance. (Ephesians 1:9-11)
- You are no longer a slave but a child and an heir. (Galatians 4:7)
- You have bold and confident access to God through faith in Christ. (Ephesians 3:12)
- You are joined to the Lord and are one in spirit with Him. (1 Corinthians 6:17)
- You are like a living stone, built into God’s house (1 Peter 2:5)
- You are a citizen of heaven. (Philippians 3:20)
- You have been made complete in Christ. (Colossians 2:9-10)
- You have been raised up with Christ. (Colossians 3:1)
- You have been chosen of God, and you are holy and beloved. (Colossians 3:12)
- And You have been set free in Christ. (Galatians 5:1)

The week in words; A food journal 30/05 - 02/06