When I asked God to create a pure heart within me, I wasn't expecting this. When I asked Him to "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me...", I didn't know the depths of the darkness of my heart. See, the thing is, prayer works. Prayer works because the God that hears your prayers, is a living God. And when I prayed that prayer, He heard me.

So the thing about your heart it, you will never know the depths of the darkness of your heart, until you ask God to reveal it to you. God broke me, but He healed me, I'm no longer bitter towards my friend :) This bitterness of jealousy and asking God why He gave someone else everything and seemingly left some stuff out on you, doesn't satisfy. Because Jesus gave you everything you need, and even more in abundance. Security comes from Him and knowing that He loves You! You see, God's still in the process of breaking me down, but also building me up, bringing out the impure things in my heart, but also replacing it with His abundant love.

So far its been a month that has a lot of frustrations and down-moments but I wouldn't change it for anything! I don't want to be that kind of girl that complains the moment something doesn't go my way, I don't want to be that kind that always compares myself to other girls, that gets moody and whiny just because I don't feel like being nice, that becomes temperate with others when I'm stressed, someone thats worldly. God created you for so much more than what the world has to offer!

Its only when you go through all these kinds of breaking that you realise that truly, the only one you can actually count on is God :) You can't rely on just yourself to get you through the days of weariness & to relieve a tired heart. Really, its finding the time to rest yourself in God's sweet presence in the midst of everything.. And knowing He's the one true God.

P.S : Be careful what you pray for, Jesus answers in ways you may not like. Remember to praise Him through it all!