Going into the 4th month

It's always that period after you get your exam results, where every single person you meet (that are aware you've just gotten your results) asks you, "So.... What are you planning to do now?" or "Where are you going to go study?" or "Applied for any scholarships yet?" or "Going to India like your brother?!". Okay, the last question I don't get that often, but when I do, they're mostly joking. I hope.

I'm doing my A Levels right now, or whatyoucallits Sixth Form/Year 12. What I can say is that the gap between high school and Year 12 is pretty big. Not exactly in terms of knowledge, but just generally the whole package. The way to study, the way to answer the exam questions, the way everything works. I mean, high school didn't prepare me for this (high school taught me how to memorise chunks of information and then regurgitate them out on paper again). It took me a while, but I got used to it. Also, I dropped Physics around the beginning of the 3rd month and took up Geography. I don't know exactly how wise I was to do it in terms of my future course options, all I knew was that I really didn't like Physics and I've wanted to take up Geography since the beginning but I didn't because, well, kiasu Chinese gotta take up all the science subjects! I'm happy with my subjects now, the feeling of not dreading to go to certain Physics classes is really liberating.

I didn't apply for any scholarships because I couldn't find any that was related to what I was interested in doing in the future. There were plenty for engineering but since I dropped Physics... Not really any option. It is a little worrisome (Okay... a lot worrisome) thinking about my future. What do I do, where do I go, how will I get there? It's times like this that I can't imagine what I would do without God. I was born a worrywart. Not the anxiety/panic-attacks kind of thing, but I worry and think about worst-case scenarios and how I'm gonna get through them. With Jesus, I can find real freedom and a security that I am in Him and He is in me. There's a plan set out in my life, I can hold His hand and trust in Him. This doesn't mean that I'm suddenly worry-free, but it's a constant surrendering I have to remind myself of.

Tania came back for a week with a little gift for me. What a sweetie.

I got a new desk as well, my old one was in really bad condition (I inherited it from my genius brother who apparently thought it was a good idea to use a penknife to cut paper on the desk without protecting the surface first!), it's really relieving to finally be able to write on a desk without having to place something underneath my paper. There's my schedule, I don't have classes during certain times which makes transport home a real pain, but I think God has answered my prayers about that which I'll share another time perhaps. I love my Fridays! Classes from 9am till 12pm, and I'm home bound! 

April has arrived really fast. This year is passing by so quickly, in a months time I'll have my first internals, and in another few months, my first set of A Level externals. It's rather terrifying, but when I think about how He's with me every step of the way, my perspective changes and now it's terrifyingly exciting. Hoping, praying, that April will be a month of learning new things, both educational and spiritual, and growing even more (hopefully not my waistband, been eating too much these few weeks).