Tired and weary. Helpless and utterly worn out, frayed threads, dusty curtains. Infinitely small, scared, fearful. Unloved. Desperate. Needy. Hesitant, holding back, uncertainty. Doubts. Burdens. Heaviness. The weight of works - or perhaps lack of it - Guilt. Pulling down. Walls are caving in and I can hardly breathe, and I cannot decide if I am a dry, barren wasteland or a torrential storm raging. I am desperate, reaching out to grasp empty air to steady me. I am leaning on stilts made of sand, standing on floors unsteady, enclosed within invisible limitations. I am lonely, I am guilt-ridden. I am fearful, insecure. I am weary.. I am tired.
Tired of being tired. Tired of struggling. How did I get so hurt, without me realising it? You never see the shards of glass till you feel it.
Tiredness comes when I do not rely on Him for strength. It overwhelms when I do not rest in the shadow of His wings. Still, You beckon me and Your untiring arms are held open. You are there and You long for me to cast all sorrows unto You. You would gladly take it all with tenderness and care, how gentle the heart that I learn from! Come, come, come away. Fall away from the world and into My rest. You take all that I am, giving me all that You are. Peaceful is the heart that holds steadfast to You in the midst of pain. Strong are the hands that hold me and keep me safe. My head rests on You, I lean on Your faithfulness; security and this sweet love paving the way to healing.
How deep is His love for me? Deeper than all the tears I could cry.
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