Its coming to the end of the year 2010. The end of the year is something I always look forward to, as a time of reflection on the year that has just passed & the anticipation of the new and fresh year that is to come! Looking back on my journal this year, I realise God has brought me through every single situation and He was always there for me even when I didn't know it :) Here are pieces of my heart from each month taken from my journal. Each piece is precious, although sometimes painful just like glass shards are, nevertheless there is beauty in each moment.

7th March 2010, Sunday.

Pastor Ben came and prayed for me. The words he spoke were things I didn't even consider important in my life, but when he said them they cut right to the heart. He said I shouldn't find my value in other people. My value is not found in what other people think and say of me, my value is in Christ Jesus. He said sometimes I look at other people and wish I were like them. I wish I looked like them or acted like them. But thats wrong - I should not be trying to find my identity in other people because my identity is in Christ.. And that is amazingly true.

29th April 2010, Thursday.

Once again, I am so amazed by God's perfect love. I'm in awe that someone as pure & perfect as Him would actually die for my sake. Someone who was righteous in every way came and died for a sinner like me. Hows that for unconditional love? His love, grace and peace has no boundaries and I'm so glad that I have Him living in me!

30th June 2010, Wednesday.

Waking up early to read the Bible these past 2 days has been absolutely tiring.. I have to constantly ask for strength. As I read the bible, I see many things. All the rulers who were successful in their reign did these things

1. Humbled themselves
2. Repented and
3. Offered sacrifices / Rebuilt the temple of the Lord

I guess this really shows something and speaks to me. If I am ever going to be successful, I cannot do it without humbling myself, repenting and sacrificing my idols.

14th August 2010, Saturday.

Tania and I got into a discussion about our walk with God and we shared some bible verses. Tania suddenly told me she thinks God is telling her to tell me that I should persevere and it really did touch my heart. Somehow I realise that I cannot rely on my emotions and I cannot rely on my feelings, but I have to rely on God's faithfulness. He is faithful when He says He will never leave us not forsake us, even when we're dry. He wants me to depend on Him and entirely Him.... and He makes it so real in my life when He said, "Apart from Me, you can do nothing."

28th September 2010, Tuesday.

Jeremiah 42:6. I've been telling God that I'm willing - willing to do His will. Now I feel that He's asking me - Am I still going to be willing when I face the unfamiliar? Am I still gonna say, Lord, I am willing to do your will? Am I still going to be obedient? This is difficult for me, I'm kinda ashamed to admit it! The things of my sinful nature holding me back, caring too much about what other people might think of me or what they would say.

But this is a choice I'm going to have to make NOW. Christ paid too big a price for me to say, "Wait."

24th October 2010, Sunday.

"I was pushed back and about to fall,

But the Lord helped me.

The Lord is my strength & my song;

He has become my Salvation." (Psalms 118:14)

13th November 2010, Saturday.

Time to let go and put things that are out of my control and place it in the hands of the One that has control. I'm tired of thinking and trying to fix things, I've come to realise that I can't do anything without You. What am I doing, God? Why am I taking my struggle out of Your hands when I'm supposed to be doing the opposite? Its time to turn to You. Jesus, thanks for your faithfulness.. Please help me to see beyond what I can see. :)

I looooooooove looking back, because it gives me a chance to see that God was right there all along, loving me and holding me up with His amazing unconditional neverending wonderful love!! Every single lousy situation, fun party, terrible day, exciting moment, turbulent storms, THEY ALL PALE IN COMPARISON TO THE AMAZING GOD I SERVE :)