It's 2014 // Thoughts for the first half of January

Wow, more than half a month of 2014 has passed. Time flies, especially when you're living... Existing... Barely. Day to day. Monotone. Routine.

Some random thoughts have been persisting in my mind the past two weeks. One of them is inspired by Wai Leem's blogpost about comparing. I'll admit, one of the things that I've believed in was NOT comparing yourselves to other people! Like why would you do that? Everyone is different, good at certain things, etc., no? Comparing yourself will just make you feel bad, yes?

Well, yes, and no. He really got me thinking on this. Wai Leem explains it all so much clearer, so go read it. Essentially, comparing yourself to another person ISN'T bad. If you didn't compare, you would never know where your standards were. Could you have been better, or in what way was the other person 'better'? Comparing is what it is. It makes you... Compare. To another person, usually better. Makes you think, usually about yourself.

And sometimes you end up feeling bad. Like you tried, but didn't match up. Or.... "I'll never get this right.", "Why am I even trying? I end up failing anyway.", "I might as well never have done it in the first place." and so on. Wow, we humans are pretty great at criticizing people, most of all ourselves.

But it all comes down to your perception of your own self.

Let's take it from a perspective of knowing who we are as Christ's child. Our identity is in Him. We are His. We know we were made with a purpose, for a purpose. We know that He has called us to be His children, the head and not the tail! We know that in all things, the Spirit of excellence should reside because He has called us to whole-heartedness and glory. There is thankfulness, humbleness, brokenness in us. There is Love, and knowing that Love embraces us in open arms. We are not thrown to the side in this mad bungle of a jungle.

So when we compare, and realise that we come up short or that we could have done so much better instead- We know God doesn't condemn us (and so why do we condemn ourselves?). We know that if we had done things half-heartedly, that is not what God has called us to do, and so we take that as a lesson and do our best the next time. It's about learning and growing from mistakes, lessons, painful trips along the road; skinned knees are our lesson and the bandages are humility, allowing ourselves to be taught, and making a conscious decision to grow from it.

Or sometimes you've done what you could, but fell short anyway. There's always someone better in this world, isn't there? It's okay. You have to believe that. God is pleased with a heart that is willing and whole-hearted. He doesn't judge you by your results.

One thing about viewing ourselves thinking that we are not WORTH something - just that very perspective and thought blinds us to everything else. When our minds are clouded by self pity and worthlessness, it becomes difficult to allow whatever has happened to become a lesson and to teach us to become better. We're caught up in ourselves. We don't realise that... Second chances happen. One failure doesn't define you. Multiple failures don't define you. Successes don't define you either, come to think of that.

Sometimes we have a tendency to evaluate our life and define ourselves based on our successes or failures. When we succeed, life's good. We're doing pretty good. And when we don't, life sucks. We suck. If that's the case we'll spend our life never feeling secure about who we actually are. Will we even know who we are?

Everyone's just looking for themselves. Somewhere out there. "Who am I?". It's an endless journey.... Until you meet the One who made you.