It turns out procrastination is not typically a function of laziness, apathy or work ethic as it is often regarded to be. It’s a neurotic self-defense behavior that develops to protect a person’s sense of self-worth.

You see, procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person. This makes failure or criticism disproportionately painful, which leads naturally to hesitancy when it comes to the prospect of doing anything that reflects their ability — which is pretty much everything.

But in real life, you can’t avoid doing things. We have to earn a living, do our taxes, have difficult conversations sometimes. Human life requires confronting uncertainty and risk, so pressure mounts. Procrastination gives a person a temporary hit of relief from this pressure of “having to do” things, which is a self-rewarding behavior. So it continues and becomes the normal way to respond to these pressures.

Particularly prone to serious procrastination problems are children who grew up with unusually high expectations placed on them. Their older siblings may have been high achievers, leaving big shoes to fill, or their parents may have had neurotic and inhuman expectations of their own, or else they exhibited exceptional talents early on, and thereafter “average” performances were met with concern and suspicion from parents and teachers.

David Cain, “Procrastination Is Not Laziness”

What do you think? I find this sort-of true. In a way, I can see where the author is coming from. That article/blogpost rather hits home though. "A procrastinator becomes disproportionately motivated by the pain of failure. So when you consider taking anything on, the promise of praise or benefit from doing something right are overshadowed by the (disproportionately greater) threat of getting something wrong. Growing up under such high expectations, people learn to associate imperfection or criticism with outright failure, and failure with personal inadequacy." Oh yeah, I be seein' myself in those few sentences right there...

Haha. Well, studying all these new things in a new environment with new incredibly smart people around me can be quite a kick in the backside. About how much I really don't know and how much God's grace & favour is needed in this ridiculously competitive world. I've got so much to learn.

On another hand, I got straight A's for my SPM results (4A+, 5A, 1A-) and I'm pretty happy with it. Although I'll be honest and say I was expecting a few more A+'s in the subjects that I got an A in, it's alright :) That's one part of my life done with. On to the next chapter!