"I was pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord helped me. The Lord is my strength and my song, He has become my salvation." {Psalm 118:13}

Without Jesus, I can't imagine where I would be. Suffocating in the rush to meet the expectations of others, and of that which I place upon myself, heavy and burdensome expectations to please everyone else. Pulled down by fears and chained by worries, I would be a prisoner to my own mind. Fake masks to put on for every different situation to hide the crumbling pieces that are barely holding together. It would be so easy to listen to the mocking cries of the Enemy, that I am not good enough and never will be, not loved, not accepted, never wanted. The tendencies to fall into morbid thinking and dark thoughts, how easy to slip into the old ways of depression and self-inflicted hurt. The wrong ways of release, which only serve to bind me up more. Relinquishing pain while ignoring the fact that strongholds go deeper than skin deep. How tempting to flirt with the darkness, but just like how you get hurt if you play with fire; if you invite the darkness, it will consume you. I learnt.

Jesus is the light that keeps burning. He is the hope that never dies out, my only hope. In God I trust when all else fails, in Him my soul can rest secure. When darkness comes and tries to push me back to the old ways, I find security in knowing that I am dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. When the cords of brooding and morbidity try to entangle around me, I hold fast to His Words that calls me to be transformed by the renewing of my mind - renewing by His power and His might and grace. He is my peace, the lamp unto my feet. My body is His temple, sacred and to be kept pure, His spirit that lives in me brings life, not death. I am a child of His glorious light, an heir to righteousness, loved infinitely. Living to please God and Him alone, honouring Him and not man, brings real release from the expectations of everyone else. Knowing He gave His very life for me, that I am chosen and that He works all things out in accordance to His will brings release from the expectations I place on myself. Jesus is the very strong grip that has His hold on me when I am falling off the edge, He is the voice that calms my soul and says, "My grip on you will never let go."