This fly, you guys. THIS FLY.
I went over to the window earlier to adjust the curtains, and RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES was this fly. So I moved my face over a little bit and THERE WAS ANOTHER ONE.
And I was like, 'I DON'T WANT YOUR DISEASES IN MY ROOM, GET OUT,' because they might have AIDS or HIV and who knows where they came from, y'know, and so I went and grabbed the fly swatter.
I couldn't find the second fly, but that isn't the point of this story- because the first fly is a MUTANT. I hit him with the swatter like, five times in a row, until eventually he fell on the ground, dead. And I was like, 'YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT,' and went to get the broom to sweep him up but
TOO BAD HE CAME BACK TO LIFE AND FLEW AWAY
A few seconds later he landed again, so I swatted him, again. And, again, he fell down 'dead'.
Until I hit him again and he jumped, went, 'HEY, WHAT'S UP, SUCKAH?' and left.
I swiped at him midair this time, at which point he landed on his back in the windowsill. And I was like, 'HE'S JUST FAKING, I KNOW IT. HE'S ALIVE. HE'S ALIVE. HE'S A ZOMBIE FLY I DON'T WANNA TOUCH HIM MAKE IT STOP.'
And this voice in my head just laughed because it didn’t want to believe the truth.
Until I poked him and he FLEW OUT OF THE CRACK IN THE WINDOWSILL AND CAME STRAIGHT AT MY FACE. TRYING TO ATTACK ME.
I lost track of him then because I was too preoccupied going, ‘AUGHKJLFJKDLA;JFL AAASDASFFSDF,' and trying to hide, but I know he's lurking somewhere, and when he comes out?
DEAD.
Yeah, that's right. He may have won the battle, but he WILL NOT WIN THE WAR.
OH, NO BABY. NO NO NO.
♥banana.
