Saturday, February 7, 2015

5 Months

First Semester is over. I want to reflect on how good God has been to me even during the times where I placed Him in the backseat because of my studies. The things that I constantly remind and repeat to myself would be:

Never think that you don't need God. Never say that you don't need Him.

Never think that your own efforts would be good enough. That your own strength in your work, your own hard work, is what will get you through everything. God is the One that grants me the wisdom to understand and study well, the one that gives me strength to go on when I feel so weak and the grace to live in freedom. I could never say that I don't need God. I could never say that my life would be perfectly fine and normal without Him. Such dangerous thoughts... To think that life would be okay without Him. To think that my own efforts would be enough to get me through life.

Wisdom comes from God. What He gives, He can take away.

Isn't pride such a dangerous thing? When you think that you've done it better, or thought things through better, or just anything that you think you're doing better than another. I'm realising that whatever wisdom I have, it comes from God. When I pray to God to give me wisdom, He does. And He doesn't give it so that I can lord it over others. Sometimes I honestly sigh in frustration when I see people act so... unwise. And I think, why can't they just be more wise about such things?! And God knocks me on the head. Would you not be as they are if you did not pray to Me for wisdom? Does not the wisdom that you have now, come from Me? And I am humbled. Repentant once again. There is a reason the wisdom was given, and not for self pride.

His faithfulness has held me throughout. As it will continue to do so for the rest of my life.

His grace and mercy and favour has shone on me. Ever evident during these 5 months from the moment I stepped foot into this university. When I first came, I was told there was no more rooms for me, but in the end I was given a room and a roommate that was the answer to my prayers. Got my laundry bag from the maintenance guy with zero fuss. Made so many good friends. Favour with lecturers. Favour with friends. So much mercy in His eyes that look upon me.

His Love. That never wavers. Although I do.

How do I deserve or even begin to understand the way He feels and thinks towards me? He is just... Too good to me.